Dean and Sam: A twisted, painful, beautiful love story
by jowinchest224
Summary: 18 year old Dean comes home drunk finding his little brother trying to jack off. He helps and unknowingly opens a book he and Sam can never close. Follows the Winchesters from teenage years to season 8. Quite a few sexual acts and a good amount of romance. I had fun with this one and hope you enjoy reading it!
1. Chapter 1

Sam opened the door to the cheap motel him, Dean and their father were staying at. John Winchester hadn't been seen for a week or so, and wasn't expected back for a few days. From the looks of the empty hotel room, Dean was also gone. They were temporarily enrolled in a new school. Sam hated moving around but he always put in effort in his classes. Dean on the other hand decided, since dad was gone and would never find out, he was not going to sit in some boring classroom. He told Sam he had found some college chicks to hang out with and they were "smokin' hot". Dean was probably the only 18th year old who could get laid by multiple college chicks.

Sam was 14 and very much a virgin. He had never even focused on masturbation. He tried a few times but he never got to the point of orgasm. From what Dean told him, white stuff was supposed to shoot out of him when he "came". It hadn't happened and Sam was in no real rush.

Pushing the thought out of his mind, Sam sat down to do his homework. After he finished he pulled out the book he checked out from the library and leaned into the musty couch. Several hours passed by and still no Dean. Sam began to worry as he peered out the hotel window. Nothing but dark sky. He sat back on the couch deciding to watch TV to keep his mind off all the horrible thoughts that started to swirl around. Dean is fine, he told himself. He's a good hunter. Better than good.

The woman on the TV caught Sam's attention. She was about twenty years older than him with large, bouncy boobs. Her thick, red lips curved deliciously as she talked. Sam whined as he felt his dick harden. He hated this so much. It would take hours for this to go away and it would painful. After a minute, frustration took over and he decided to try and rub his problem away. He unzipped his pants pulling out his rock hard cock. He wrapped his hand around it as he began moving up and down his shaft with very little rhythm. Like always he felt little waves of pleasure but nothing else.

Suddenly the hotel door banged open and Dean stumbled through. Sam jumped trying to cover himself. Dean took one look at him and burst into laughter.

"It's not funny," Sam complained.

"Sorry, Sammy." Dean slurred with a grin.

"Are you drunk?"

Dean shook his head crashing down next to him on the couch making Sam feeling even more awkward. "Buzzed. These girls were hot man. This one blonde – incredible ass – she went down on me for the first time. She couldn't get me off but God how her wet mouth felt wrapped around my dick –"

Sam whimpered as his cock twitched. Dean looked down at him with a grin. "Either put it away or finish the job, Sammy."

"I can't," he told him in a low voice.

"Sure you can. Think of a babe, stroke it a few times then bam."

Sam frowned, "Then white stuff, right?"

Dean cocked an eyebrow, "Yeah? Sammy – please tell me you've busted before?"

Sam wasn't sure why this term caused his dick to twitch again. He put his hand back on in.

"I can't get the motion right. I've tried so many times."

Dean ran his fingers through his hair sighing deeply. "Sammy, Sammy, Sammy – do I have to teach you everything?"

He placed his hand over Sam's forcing him to move it from the middle of his shaft to the head. "Like this," Dean purred lowly.

Sam pressed upwards moaning softly. Dean gulped loudly as he felt his own cock growing hard. He took his hand off his brother's cock quickly. Sam tried to mimic the motion but groaned in frustration when he lost rhythm. Dean rolled his eyes. "Here, watch."

He pulled his long, hard cock out of his pants. Sam stared at it thinking that it looked massive in comparison to his. Dean seemed to read his mind, "Don't worry. It wasn't this size when I was your age."

Sam nodded and watched as Dean began stroking his dick. He tried to mimic the motion. After a few minutes waves of pleasure were starting to wash over him much powerful than he was used to. His mouth hung open as he moaned loudly.

Dean stared at his little brother confused why his moans were turning him on more. He watched Sam aggressively pumping his dick and it completely undid him. His moans grew even louder than Sam's. Sam quickly looked over to see his brother throw his head back and that white liquid to squirt out of the head of his dick. This sent even more ways of pleasure over him but despite everything he still couldn't come. He beat his dick without mercy trying to force results.

Dean came down from his high and saw his little brother's struggle. He actually felt very sorry for him. "Here kid, move out of the way."

Dean batted Sam's hand away and took his cock into his hand. Sam moaned loudly bucking upwards.

"Yeah it's always good the first time someone else touches it," Dean cooed getting a few more groans from Sam's mouth. He knew he should feel bad for being so turned on by his little brother's sex cries but instead he focused on the pumping. "It's too dry."

He leaned over and let some spit dribble from his mouth. Sam whimpered as his body began shaking violently around him. It only took two pumps with the saliva for Sam to come on his hand.

"Dean! Dean!" he shouted as his very first orgasm rocked him.

Dean continued stroking him letting the orgasm run its course. After a minute Sam collapsed backwards taking in deep, ragged breaths. Dean grabbed a tissue cleaning them both up. He turned to Sam. "Don't expect that every time now. I know I'm good but you have to start doing this stuff on your own."

Sam laughed, "I need to take a nap."

Dean checked his watch, "Nap? You need to go to bed. You have school in the morning."

Instead of arguing, Sam simply nodded and stumbled to his bed. Within minutes he was asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean woke Sam up early the next morning.

"School, shower, go." Dean muttered before flopping down and going back to sleep.

Sam rubbed his face roughly. He searched the room for a towel when the memories from last night came back to him. His dick hardened thinking about Dean's large hand wrapped around him. His hips involuntarily bucked. He needed to fell that again. If he woke him up right now, Dean would probably stab him so Sam went to school concealing his boner. To his dismay he had to hide it all day with his binder. It was really beginning to get painful. He was so thankful for the bell that sent him back to the cheap hotel.

When he walked in he found Dean on the couch watching TV. "What's up, Sammy?"

Sam hopped onto the couch immediately. He began unzipping his pants quickly. Dean stared at him in alarm. "What the hell are you doing?"

"It's been hard all day," Sam told him through gritted teeth. He released his hard member from its tight prison sighing in relief. He looked over at Dean expectantly.

Dean stood up quickly, "We're not doing that again. There's a difference between lessons and sex, Sam. You are my little brother. I'm not supposed to be touching you like this."

Sam frowned feeling extremely let down. "It hurts."

"Go jack it in the bathroom," Dean demanded.

"But I want you to touch it. I want you to make me come."

Dean swallowed hard. How did his little brother just make those words sound so fucking hot? He cleared his throat to hide his reaction but he couldn't hide the hardening cock between his legs. "Go to the bathroom, Sam!" he yelled loudly.

Sam jumped and ran to the bathroom. He sat on the toilet feeling confused. Maybe Dean was right. They were brothers and brothers didn't usually do this kind of thing. He pushed the lump in his throat down and turned to his rock hard member.

Dean sat on the couch willing his erection to go away. It didn't seem to be working. Moans started leaking out of the bathroom and that didn't help the fucking situation at all. They were small and soft and maybe that hit Dean even harder. He sat on his hands. He would not jack of to his little brother's cries. Cries that seemed to be growing frustrated. Yes, very frustrated. Sam was almost whining.

Damn it to hell, Dean thought as he stood up heading towards the bathroom. He didn't knock instead he just opened the door and took in Sam's lust filled face.

"Bed," Dean growled before he could stop himself.

Sam's eyes popped open in surprise. It took him a second to realize what his brother said then he hopped up eagerly and half jumped on to the bed. Dean pushed him down roughly straddling his hips. You are not fucking your brother, Dean told himself. It doesn't count if you are helping him. Sam didn't seem to be torn by these actions. Instead he was looking eagerly at Dean's erection.

"Can I touch it?"

Dean shivered, "Y-Yeah."

Sam nodded then took it into his hands. Dean stared down at his brother fighting off the urge to crush his lips into those small, pink ones. Sam leaned up a little stroking harder. Dean hissed when it became too rough. "It's dry, Sammy." Dean went to spit on his hand but Sam had other plans.

"I want to try something," he told him innocently before scooting down so Dean's hips rested on his chest.

Dean opened his eyes in alarm as he realized what he was about to do. "Sam, no!"

It was too late. The young boy's mouth covered the head of his penis. Dean cried out loudly. It was so tight and wet. Sam pulled himself up a little bit to get at a better angle then began sliding his mouth up and down Dean's hard member. Dean watched him work feeling turned on, sick and more excited than he had ever been in his entire life.

Sam pulled away for a moment making Dean groan at the lack of contact.

"When you 'bust', will you do it in my mouth? I want to taste it," Sam told him matter of factly.

Dean's mouth fell open. He couldn't control himself after that comment. He forced his dick back into Sam's mouth making him choke a little. Dean's hips began thrusting into Sam's mouth. His little brother was gagging on his cock violently.

"Oh, Sammy." Dean groaned. "Sammy, it feels so fucking good."

He peered down to see his brother staring up at him with big eyes. Something about the way he looked just then with those innocent eyes and his mouth full of cock made Dean half scream as he emptied into Sam's mouth. Sam sucked on his cum hungrily. Dean rode out the waves of pleasure then collapsed beside his brother.

"Was it good?" Sam asked.

Dean looked up at him ready to make a joke but the boy's swollen red lips still had traces of Dean that he couldn't swallow. "Fuck Sam," he muttered feeling his cock twitch again.

"Dean can you help with – with this?"

Dean looked down to see Sam's dick was hard as a rock and coated in precum. "This is so wrong." He muttered but grabbed his brother's cock anyway. A few jerks and Sam was moaning his name.

Dean felt lazy as he lay next to brother jerking him with little rhythm. It didn't seem like the proper pay back, so against all common sense he moved down between Sam's legs.

Sam opened his eyes in surprise, "Oh and you going to-"

Dean wrapped his lips around Sam's cock and the boy completely went off the wall. He began moaning and panting so loudly that Dean wondered if everyone in the hotel could hear him.

"D-Dean," he screamed. "Oh my god. Oh my god!"

Dean slid his mouth up and down Sam's cock once and he was bucking upwards sending his cum into his big brother's mouth. He sucked it up eagerly earning several more throaty moans from Sam.

After a minute Dean backed off wiping his mouths. "Virgins," he muttered with a smile. "Always so eager."

Sam couldn't respond. He seemed to be locked in a trance. His mouth hung open and his eyes stayed half rolled in the back of his head. Dean grabbed the tip of his cock, squeezing it roughly. Sam about jumped out of his skin. "That's not – not cool, man."

Dean just smiled in return. After a minute Sam returned the smile. "How do I taste?"

"Wanna find out?" Dean dipped down crushing his lips into Sam's before he could even think about the consequences. Sam's surprised moan was cut off by Dean's tongue. They stayed like this for a while battling against each other until Dean finally broke away.

"Are you hungry?"

Sam nodded, "Hungry, tired and I think – I want to cuddle."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Such a chick."

He pulled himself up with a few groans. He quickly threw on clothes and started making Sam and himself dinner. A few minutes later they were sitting down eating hot dogs and beans and watching bad television. They joked back and forth just like they normally did but Dean could feel that something had changed. Every time Sam smiled or brushed up against him, his stomach would knot up furiously. Sam was acting different too. He couldn't look Dean in the eye very long without blushing profusely.

When they were ready to go to sleep they crawled into their individual bed. Thick silence hung in the darkness. Dean wanted so badly to crawl into bed next to his little brother. He wanted to feel his warm flesh and smell his sweet scent while he faded into sleep. The longing did not go away. As the minutes ticked on, Dean was literally holding on to bits on the sheet to keep himself in his own bed. He was about to give up when he felt pressure on the mattress. He looked up to see Sam smiling at him nervously.

"I want to sleep with you," Sam told him quietly

Dean sighed in relief. He grabbed the snot nose brat pulling him into a tight embrace. This was normal, right? Sam had slept with him before when he was scared or if dad was being especially nasty. Dean however did not remember brushing his brother's lips as he just did or the deep kiss which followed. Sam rested his head on Dean's chest showing he was ready for sleep. Dean couldn't agree more.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Dean felt his heart skip a beat. "I love you too, Sammy."


	3. Chapter 3

When Sam woke up he found his brother talking loudly on the phone.

"Yes, sir. Everything is going fine. School is good. He's fine, sir. Alright, we'll see you then."

Sam sat up in bed, "Is dad coming home?"

Dean nodded once, "He'll be here around midnight."

Sam couldn't hide his disappoint, "But then we can't –"

"No, we can't." Dean told him seriously. "Sam, dad can't find out about this."

"Do you think I'm stupid? Besides this is between me and you. It's our – secret."

Dean smiled then pulled the covers away causing Sam to moan in protest, "Don't make those sounds or I'll keep you here all day."

Dean saw the lust appear in his brother's face. His own cock twitched in response. "It was a joke, Sam. Go to school!"

Sam stood up slowly, "Dean?"

"Hmm?"

"We will – do it, right? Before dad gets home?"

"Sure," Dean said brightly. "But after he's home it's done."

Sam felt like he missed a step. His voice was panicky when he said, "Not for good, right? Just until he leaves again. That's what you mean, right?"

Dean stared at him for a moment wondering if he should put an end to this madness now. Those shiny eyes caused something inside him to snap. "Yes, that's what I mean."

Sam sighed in relief. "Promise?"

Dean nodded,"I promise. Now go to school. One of us needs to be book smart."

Sam didn't pay attention to a single word his teacher's said throughout the day. A pretty red headed girl struck up conversation with him but he couldn't even see her. He longed to get back to his brother – to feel his warm touch again.

Dean wasn't holding up so well either. He tried to watch TV but he couldn't focus, he tried to shower but the warm water brought on an ache for warm skin. He settled for sitting on the couch, drinking a beer and staring at the clock. When Sam finally came through the hotel door they met each other with a deep kiss. Dean ripped off Sammy's book bag and his shirt. He planted kisses on his cheek then scrapped his teeth down his collar bone. Sam moaned in response pressing his hard cock against Dean's leg.

"Dean," Sam panted. "Will you – will you fuck me?"

Dean whimpered in response. "Sammy, I don't know if I can do that."

"Why not?"

"I would love to," Dean told him truthfully. "But your body is still young. I don't want to stretch you in those ways. I don't want your first time to be painful."

Sam frowned. "I want to be connected to you. I want our bodies to –"

Dean gulped, "You can fuck me if you want."

He took the lust in Sam's eyes for a yes. Maybe even a hell yes.

"Now?" Sam begged. "Can we now?"

Dean nodded as he sat on the bed. Sam sat down next to him. They kissed slowly for a while until the passion picked up. The kisses were more frantic this time. Soon both of the boys were naked. Dean lay onto top of Sam thrusting his boner against his. This movement caused a raw burning but neither seemed to mind.

"I want to be in you," Sam whispered in his ear.

Dean stopped breathing for a moment then simply nodded. He switched their positions letting Sam get on top. He reached over into the drawer pulling out lube. He put it on two of his fingers and began pressing them into his asshole. It was painful. Very painful. He couldn't get deep enough to touch his prostate. Sam took the lube from his hand placing it on his fingers. "Let me do it."

Sam's fingers took Dean's place. Having Sam inside of him, even just a little bit, caused Dean to cry out. Sam smiled and began pressing in and out of him stretching his hole. He continued this for a few minutes then lubed up his erection.

"Are y-you ready?" Sam asked.

Dean smiled up at him, "I am all yours."

Sam took these words in, staring at him weakly. He bent down and began kissing him softly. They kissed like this until the tip of Sam's dick began pressing into him. Dean pulled away to hiss loudly. It was painful but after a few slides Sam was hitting his prostate causing him to moan loudly. Dean looked up to see Sam's beautiful face contorted in pleasure. His virginity was gone and his brother had taken it.

Soon Sam's movements grew faster and sloppier. "Dean, I am not – not going to last – much longer."

"Good. Fill me up."

Sammy shouted loudly as his dick began weeping into Dean. His body shook violently then he crashed on to Dean's chest. Dean held him for a long time, running his fingers through his hair. After a while Sammy looked up with a sleepy smile. "That was perfect."

Dean nodded in agreement, "Yes, it was."

"Will you do it to me now?" Sam asked hopefully getting a scowl from Dean.

"I don't want to hurt you, Sammy."

"You won't! If it starts to hurt I will tell you. Promise."

Dean considered this then flipped his brother over. "Okay. I'll fuck you, Sammy. Do you want me to fuck you slow or hard?" he whispered into his ear getting several gasps. "Should I stay right at the entrance or so deeply that your exploding without even being touched?"

Sam moaned loudly, "I need you now, Dean!"

Dean was reaching for the lube when the hotel door opened. John stared at his boys for a long time before the screaming and the beating started. Sam was banished to the bathroom. He heard cries of pain coming from Dean and his father's screams. Screams of "disgusting pig", "filthy piece of shit", and the worst of all: "you are not my son!"

When the hotel door slammed shut, Sam dared to come back out. He found Dean lying on the floor sobbing covered in blood. Sam went to him immediately but Dean pushed him away.

"Dean! Your nose, your eye – I hate him!" Sam found himself shouting. "How could he do this to you?"

"Because I deserved it, Sam." Dean yelled wiping the blood from his nose. "I was supposed to protect you and look what I did. I took your virginity –"

"I gave it to you! I love you, Dean." Sam tried to embrace his brother but it was no use. He was thrown back each and every time. Sam began openly sobbing.

Dean looked up at him with tearful eyes. "Come here, Sammy."

Sam did as he was told. Dean pulled him into his chest holding him tightly. For one brief, fleeting moment their lips connected then Dean was standing up and walking to the bathroom.

"He doesn't know everything," Dean explained as he wiped the blood from his face. "I told him I found you experimenting and I was just trying to show you what to do. He either bought it or he is coming back to kill me."

"I'll kill him, first." Sam promised.

Dean turned on him with a stone expression. "Don't say that. He's our father."

Sam bit his lip not wanting to make Dean angry with him. "Let's run away. We can be together."

"Sammy, this is it. We're done."

He shook his head trying to fight the tears swirling in his eyes. "No! You promised!"

"I'm sorry, Sam." Dean told him coldly.

Sam tried to go in for a hug but Dean pushed him away roughly. "It's done, Sam."

"I hate you!" Sam screamed before running out of the bathroom and throwing himself on his bed sobbing.

Dean closed the bathroom door, slid to the floor and burst into tears.


	4. Chapter 4

Years passed since this incident. Their father never brought it up again and neither did Dean or Sam. For the first few months after Dean would hear Sam moaning his name in his sleep – and once in the shower. It made him feel incredibly lonely.

It was an entire year before Dean touched anyone else. The brothers were at a diner when a sexy brunette began eye fucking him from the corner. He threw her a smirk and she was over at their table in a flash. Dean remembered turning to Sam to tell him he would be back in a little bit. The look of complete devastation on his little brother's face almost made him change his mind but in order for their relationship to get back to normal he had to do this. Many girls followed after this one and eventually Sam stopped outwardly reacting.

Sam was seventeen the first time he had sex with a girl. She was a decent looking girl who met them while they were bowling. She eagerly followed them to a restaurant. He expected her to turn her eyes on Dean but she went for Sam. When she asked him to go back to her place his eyes immediately fell on his brother's.

"Should I Dean?" he asked questioningly.

Dean's face strained into a grin. "Sure. You kids go have fun."

The brother's exchanged a long look. Sam quickly blinked the tears from his eyes and left with her. Dean couldn't take another bite of his food.

*One year later*

Sam and his father had just gotten in a huge fight. Sam told him he was going to college. He was done hunting. John tried to force him to stay but he said, "You're not taking away what I want anymore."

Sam grabbed his bags and walked out of the hotel room bumping into Dean. Dean stared at his brother coldly. "How can you do this?"

"I can't be this close to you," Sam told him truthfully making Dean shift uncomfortably. "It might not matter to you –"

"What doesn't matter to me? You? You're the most important thing in the world to me."

"Us. What we did together."

Dean groaned, "Come on, Sam that was four years ago. We were stupid kids."

Sam's eyes filled with tears again. "I just – I can't."

And he was gone, leaving Dean with a horrible longing sensation.

*2 years later*

"Dad's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home for a few days."

It all came crashing back down on Sammy. He was back with his family only this time his father was gone for good. He pushed his feelings aside and tried to make his relationship with his brother normal.

*Many years later*

Sam and Dean were wasted at Bobby's house. The apocalypse was looking like a definite thing and all they could do was drink their fear away. Bobby had retired for the night calling them idjits and telling them not to break his stuff.

"Another beer?" Dean asked as he stumbled towards the kitchen.

Sam stretched exposing the tight muscles in stomach. Dean stared at him for a brief moment but quickly turned his head. "I think I want food," Sam told him seriously following him into the kitchen.

Sam bent down looking at the crap in Bobby's fridge. There was a jar of blood, a jar of eye balls and some condiments. Dean couldn't help but check out his little brother. He had grown into one of the most gorgeous people he had ever scene. And that _ass_. Dean sucked in deeply feeling possessive over it. Over the moment he never got. He felt his dick twitch.

Sam groaned pulling himself into a standing position. "So much for food." When he turned to look at Dean, he found his eyes full of lust. Sam's heart stuttered so many times he thought it would stop all together.

"Dean?" he whispered.

Dean didn't say anything. He couldn't. He was afraid what would come out if he opened his mouth. Sam closed the distance between them, embracing his brother tightly. They clung on to each other not daring to pull away. Sam could feel Dean's rock hard cock on his leg. It made him tremble.

"Sammy," Dean purred. Sam groaned as his dick grew harder. It had been so long since Dean said his name like that. He thrust his long member against Dean's stomach. The pair pulled back from the hug moving towards each other.

The light flickered on. Bobby was half asleep when he entered the kitchen. "Thirsty," he explained not looking in their direction.

Dean immediately backed off. Sam threw him a pleading look but he simply sat his beer down and said, "I'm hittin' the sack. Don't wake me up early."

*A month later*

The Winchesters were in heaven. Not something either of them expected. They stumbled around each other's memories. Dean was still going off about Sam's greatest memory being Thanksgiving at another family's house when the scene changed. They were in some crappy motel. It took Dean a moment until it crashed down on him.

"It's the hotel."

Sam simply nodded, "Yeah, it is. This must be mine."

Dean shook his head slowly. "No, it's mine."

Sam turned on him quickly staring at him with confused eyes. Dean shook it off. He sat on the bed – _the bed_. Sam joined him. "So this is what we do in Heaven, huh?" he tried to joke. "Get each other off."

Dean sighed deeply and before he could stop himself, he muttered, "God, I hope."

Sam reached out to touch him but Dean stood up quickly, "Not in Heaven yet, Sammy. Well, we are - keep the mission in mind!"

*A few days later*

Sam and Dean sat in Bobby's living room staring at their brother. The brother who had been ripped to shreds but now was back to take Dean's place as Michael's vessel.

"How much has Zachariah told you?" Dean demanded.

Adam looked smug. "He said you and Sam were 'psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent on each other'. I can't stay he's wrong."

Dean's turned red as he tried not to look at his brother.

*A year and half later*

RoboSam sat in the passenger seat of the Impala. Dean needed his real brother back, not this soulless excuse for Sam. They had just taken down two vampire sisters. Normally, his little brother would be whining right now about how it wasn't their fault, and how badly he felt for them. Now Sam simply picked blood out of his nails saying nothing.

Suddenly Castiel appeared in the backseat almost making Dean crash.

"Damn it, Cas!"

"Sorry," he said unapologetically. "I just wanted to check in. Any word on the soul search?"

"Not yet. We just got done ganking two vamps sisters. We've been hunting them for about a week."

Cas nodded, "Congratulations."

Dean snorted. "Thanks, Cas. It's a shame because they were hot. I could have had some fun with them pre-vamp. Hell, it kind of seemed like they were having fun with each other." He mused feeling slightly turned on.

"Having fun?"

Dean rolled his eyes at Cas' cluelessness. "Sex, Cas."

Castiel's eyebrows pulled together. "Do siblings normally have intercourse?"

Sam glanced up, "Dean and I have."

Dean slammed on his breaks sending everyone flying forward. "Sam!"

Castiel looked even more awkward than usual. "I should go."

"Not a peep about this to anyone, feather boy." Dean demanded.

Cas simply nodded then was gone.

Dean turned to Sam shooting him a death stare. "What the fuck, Sam!"

Sam simply shrugged. "We did."

"But we're not supposed to talk about it!"

"You're the one who never wanted to talk about it. I was in love with you."

Dean felt his heart drop to his stomach. "You were?" he whispered.

Sam turned back to him nails. "For a few years."

"How many?" the Impala owner demanded.

"I don't know – all of them? All of them up to when I went in the pit."

Dean sighed deeply feel electricity running through every atom. "So until you lost your soul."

"Yeah, I guess so."

*A couple of years later*

Dean is drunk. Drunk is probably putting it lightly. He is hammered. He stumbles back into their new secret hideout barely able to stand. Sam looks up from his computer when he comes in. "Oh, shit."

"Fuck, Cas!" Dean declares before heading towards the floor. Sam barely makes it in time to keep him up. He pulls him to the couch.

"What did he do now?"

"He can't trust me?" Dean slurs. "With the fuckin' – fuckin' – what's it called? Angel tiblet."

"Tablet," Sam corrects.

"He can't truff me!" Dean scoffs before turning his attention to Sam. "And you! You left me in purgatory to friggin' rot, you ungrateful son of a beautiful woman!"

Sam sighs deeply. "I didn't know you were in purgatory."

"'Cause you didn't look."

"I assumed you were dead," Sam tells him. "I couldn't focus on it – I couldn't take losing you again. I came so close to hurting myself."

Dean stared at him for a long moment. "Fuck Sam, stop being so in love wiff me."

Sam cleared his throat, chuckling lightly. "You make it so difficult," he teased.

Dean cocked his head before grabbing Sam and thrusting his lips against his. Sam let out a surprise groan then immediately melted into his brother's mouth. He tasted like whiskey. It was beautiful. Dean lay down on the couch pulling Sam on top of him. He thrust upward shoving his boner into Sam's belly. Sam moaned loudly in response feeling like a teenager again.

"Oh dear."

The voice made Sam jump about 100 feet in the air. He turned to see Castiel staring at the pair with wide eyes. "I will come back some other time."

Dean pushed Sam off as he went for Castiel. It looked like he intended to punch him but when he got a few feet closer, Dean collapsed onto the ground. Sam sighed as he bent down to pull him up. He threw his passed out brother on the couch.

"Are you alright, Sam?"

Sam stared at Castiel with watery eyes. "I'm in love with my brother, Cas. I'm just friggin' peachy."


	5. Chapter 5

When Dean woke up the next day he felt like a train hit him. He strained to remember the previous night. He remembered lots of beer and whiskey but that's about it. He had a vague memory of Sam helping him into the house and of Castiel. Had Castiel tried to attack him? No, it was the other way around. Dean's cheeks reddened as he remembered stumbling for the angel.

"Dean?"

He turned to see the son of a bitch standing by the edge of his bed. Dean rubbed his face roughly. "I am extremely hung over. I really do not want to deal with right now, Cas."

Cas touched Dean's head and instantly he felt better. "Dean, we have a problem."

"Yeah, I know. You're still here."

Dean tried to walk out of the room but Castiel blocked him. "This isn't about us. It's bigger. It's about Sam."

"Sam?" asked Dean in disbelief. "There's no problem with Sam."

"He is leaving and I don't think he plans on returning."

Dean looked alarmed. "What the hell are you talking about, Cas?"

Castiel looked slightly uncomfortable. "Last night after you two – grinded - Sam told me something."

"When we grinded? We didn't grind."

But there was the memory. Castiel's mojo filled in the blank spots from the following night. He remembered grabbing his little brother, crushing his lips. He remembered feel Sam's erection against him and his against Sam. He remembered seeing Cas and throwing Sam away to horrifically fail at a punch. Then somewhere far in the back of his head he heard Sam saying he was in love with him.

"Sam will be fine." Deal told Cas with uncertainty.

Cas shook his head, "He cried himself to sleep last night. He just finished backing his bags and writing his good bye note. He is heading for the door now. I thought you would want to know."

Dean nodded pushing passed his angel friend. He made it to their large living room in time to see Sam half way out the door. He shouted his name.

Sam froze turning around. "Dean."

"What the hell is going on? You're leaving?"

Sam sat his bags down slowly turning around. "I can't stay here anymore. I'm sorry."

Dean walked to him glaring. He slammed the door locking it behind him. He point at their couch. "Sit."

Sam sat down obediently. Dean closed and opened his mouth looking furious. Truthfully, he was mad at himself for letting things get that far. Again. He was trying to think of what to say when he noticed Sam's good bye note. He picked it up roughly. Sam jumped, "Dean, please don't do that."

Dean held up a hand silencing him as he read:

Dear Dean,

I know you are going to be pissed and I'm sorry. I had to go. It's suffocating here. With these trials and tablets and…my feelings for you. I have been waiting over a decade for you to touch me the way you did last night. Now I know it's never going to happen again and that only makes this desperate ache and longing worse. I need you, Dean. I need you in ways you don't want me. I have been in love with you since that first day at the hotel – probably even longer. I tried so hard to be strong and to push it away but I can't watch you be with all these women anymore. It's breaking me down. I can't watch the best thing in my life be with someone else. I love you. I wish and want the best for you. Keep your head up and stay safe, big brother.

Yours always,

Sammy

Dean looked up from the letter to Sam who was staring at his feet with bright red cheeks. He walked to his little brother with loud footsteps. He stopped in front of him. "Stand up, Sam."

Sam ignored this command, not saying anything in return. Dean grabbed his shirt pulling him roughly to his feet. Sam stared at him with wide, pleading eyes. "I'm sorry, Dean. I'm sorry about everything. I can't stop these feelings." He blinks and tears form in his eyes. "I keep doing this. I feel – I feel like I'm suffocating."

Dean pushed his little brother's chest roughly. Sam stumbled backwards looking up at him with defeated eyes. Dean glared at the paper then up to him. "You need me in ways I don't want you, huh?"

"Dean, please stop."

"No," Dean barked loudly. "Do not assume things about me, Sam! The day I stopped this – the day dad beat the hell out of me – it broke me in ways I didn't think were possible. I was so lonely. I was ashamed of myself for feeling and doing those things. I was ashamed that I broke a promise to you. I broke your heart and my own. I did not want to. I wanted to run away with you but it's just not right."

Sam gulped loudly. "I don't care."

"Turns out I don't either," Dean told him breathlessly. Sam stared down at him and somehow looked as innocent as he did when he was 14.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean – I love you, Sam. Not just in a brotherly way. I love you deep down in stomach. I love you in ways I've never loved anyone. You are everything to me."

Sam shook his head as he walked a few feet away. "I don't know what this is leading up to but I can't take it. I wish I was stronger but I'm not."

"I want you, Sam." Dead told him barely above a whisper. Sam stared at him in disbelief. "I want you right now. I want to feel your lips again mine. I want to strip your clothes off and make you moan."

"But?"

"I do want that too," Dean teased. Sam still looked on the verge of tears. Dean closed the gap between them grabbing his brother's waist. "No buts, no maybes – you just give me the word."

Sam let out a ragged breath. "Is this a onetime thing, Dean? I think that would even be worse."

"I don't want it to be."

"Are – are you saying you want to be with me?" he asked obviously in disbelief.

"Until the day I die," Dean purred in his Sam's ear causing him to sigh. "Then I want to spend eternity with you, making up for all these years."

Tears streamed down Sam's face. "You're not a shape shifter, right?" he joked lightly.

Dean didn't answer. Instead he pressed his lips to Sam's. It was the best feeling in the world. God, how he missed these lips. Sam seemed to be thinking the same thing. He cupped Dean's face as his tongue darted in and out of his mouth. They didn't break away each other for several minutes. When they did, Dean grabbed Sam's hand leading into his bedroom.

Sam's face was flushed and his chest rose and fell so quickly that Dean was almost concerned. He placed his hands on Sam's neck. "I love you."

Sam nodded, "I love you, too."

"Alright," Dean growled. "Enough of this chick shit. I want to claim what was rightfully mine."

"What the hell –"

Dean reached around grabbing fistfuls of Sam's ass. Sam moaned loudly. After that they fought to remove each other's close. Dean ran his hands over his little brother's tight muscles. "God, your body has changed. Your much –" He stared down at Sam's newly exposed cock. "bigger."

Sam turned pink. "Yeah it got bigger just like you said."

Dean couldn't take his eyes off the throbbing, dripping cock. "I think I'm jealous."

"Your cock is just as big." Sam said with an eye roll.

"No, I'm jealous of all the girls who got to test this out since the last time I saw it."

Sam swallowed hard, "They didn't mean anything. Not like this. Not even Jess."

Dean closed the gap between them again. Their kisses were messy and wet. Sam grabbed on to Dean's boxers pulling them down. Their cocks pressed together making them both moan loudly. They fell back on to the bed scratching and biting each other's skin. At first Sam was on top but then Dean rolled him over. He kissed down his torso to his throbbing cock. Sam let out a loud cry as Dean took him completely in his mouth.

Sam's hips bucked wildly. Dean forced them down. "Calm down, Sammy."

"I can't." he breathed loudly. "It's been so long –"

Dean worked his mouth around Sam's cock and his brother was downright screaming. Sam thrust up then exploded. Dean sucked it up eagerly.

Dean let Sam catch his breath before giving him shit. "Really? I think your 14 year old self held out longer than that."

"It's been a long time. I've been waiting – so long, for that. God, I've thought about it so much."

Dean cocked an eyebrow. "You never got head from any of those bitches?"

Sam shook his head slowly. "I didn't want it. It – It was something I only wanted from you."

Dean stared at him for a moment before crushing into his lips. He led his dick slid across Sam's ass. "I need you, Sam."

"Good. Take me."

Dean didn't need to be told twice. He grabbed the lube from his chest applying it to two of his fingers. He dancing around Sam's entrance getting several low groans then he slid one finger inside his tight hole. Sam's body arched making Dean even harder. After a minute he let the other finger slide in, scissoring his little brother.

"Deeean, fuck me." Sam moaned grabbing the lube from him and rubbing it over his cock.

Dean's entire body shuttered in response. He positioned himself in front of Sam's entrance finding he was extremely eager. Slowly he pressed into him. Sam winced at first then he relaxed as Dean began probing his prostate.

"I'm fucking you," Dean moaned in his ear. "I'm finally fucking you."

At this Sam grabbed his dick which was once again rock hard. He stroked it eagerly. Dean began pressing in and out of Sam faster this time until he really was fucking him. Their bodies slammed together roughly. Both of them were groaning loudly.

Dean found himself whispering, "mine" possessively as he planted kisses over Sam's neck. Sam simply smiled and in return said, "Yours."

Dean's cock pressed against the sensitive patch of nerves inside Sam, causing him to scream his name. In a moment, thick cum shot from Sam's dick. The feeling of the warm liquid squirting on his torso sent Dean over the edge. He pressed against his little brother's mouth as he shot in side of him. Sam stared up at his brother's face as he rode out the wave of pleasure.

Dean collapsed on top of him sighing his name sweetly. Sam wrapped his arms around his brother tightly as if he never wanted to let go.

A moment passed then Sam cleared his throat, "Dean, you didn't change your mind right?"

"About what? That ass of yours? Definitely not."

Sam chuckled lowly. "About us. You still want this right?"

Dean leaned up, cupping Sam's cheeks. "I fucked up, Sammy. I should have told dad to go to hell. I've lived half of my life completely empty. Now I finally have you back. Really have you. I'm never letting that go. I promise and this time I'm not going to break it."

Sam pulled Dean down smashing their lips together.

"I love you, Dean." Sam felt like he had said this so many times in the past hour but he didn't care. He had a lot of years to make up for."

Dean smiled widely. "Thank God for that."


End file.
